Author Archive
WWE Pod People: Elimination Chamber 2011 Results and Advice
On February - 22 - 2011
Imagine the most intimidating, stupendous, confounding, astounding steel structure you can. Now multiply that by 10, and you have the 2011 Elimination Chamber! Good Ol' J.R. nicknamed this "Satan's structure" for a reason, people. "Malignant, malicious and hellacious," cried Michael Cole.Unfortunately, the English language does not contain words strong enough to adequately, accurately describe such an imposing structure. Therefore, the announcers must resort to such harsh edicts as "demonic" and "career-ending."According to the most recent WWE measurements, the current Elimination Chamber weighs more than the entire locker room of wrestlers and arena of fans combine. It's 900 feet tall and ...
WWE: The Product We All Love To Hate
On February - 20 - 2011
I have a confession to make: I love to hate professional wrestling. I choose to watch it, and have been doing so off and on for over 15 years. It is my choice to watch RAW and Smackdown each and every week. I choose not to turn it off; I choose not to change the channel. Do I like what I see? Oftentimes, honestly, no. Do I love it? Sometimes, I truly do. But there are times when I neither like nor love what I see.There are times when I despise the product. There are times when the WWE product ...
Finally, The Rock Has Come BACK to WWE: Dwayne Johnson’s Triumphant Return!
On February - 20 - 2011
Finally, The Rock has come BACK to WWE! Remember, "anything can happen" in World Wrestling Entertainment. No amount of hype could have prepared The Rock's millions and millions of fans for The Great One's return this past Monday on RAW. And anyone other than The People's Champ as the surprise Wrestlemania guest host would have been a major letdown.Justin Bieber? He's a jabroni. Bob Barker? He seemed to do a commendable job as RAW guest host, but only because most of the other RAW guest hosts were so TERRIBLE! Enter Dwayne Johnson, king of the Attitude Era and newly crowned ...
WWE Slam or Sham? Everybody’s a Critic
On August - 17 - 2010
Although WWE admits that "real action is in books," they forged ahead with plans to make Summerslam 2010 a wrestle-fest rather than a read-a-thon. They were met with mixed results. The first half of the pay-per-view had me longing for a good book, while the second portion of the show kept me riveted. In a way, Summerslam 2010- or "Summersham," if you will- was the best and worst that WWE has to offer.Stay tuned for my thoughts on each match. And let's all be thankful that for some good reason, WWE saw fit to remove The Terrible Khali from Team WWE ...
Smackdown On Syfy: Pro Wrestlers Reimagined
On August - 17 - 2010
The creative minds at WWE and Syfy have put their muscly, forward-thinking heads together and reteamed for the joint venture that is Smackdown on Syfy. On Friday, Oct. 1, a new era begins. In its promotional material, Syfy is already attempting to redefine sports entertainment as we know it. WWE superstars are referred to as "super heroes of wrestling" who will "bring fans...feats of athleticism beyond the reach of mortal men." Just how will the move affect both parties? Well, science fiction aficionados are already known to be adrenaline junkies.And WWE has had its fair share of supernaturally enhanced characters over the ...
Moonlighting Wrestlers: Quit Your Day Job?
On August - 15 - 2010
Since its inception, professional wrestling has included a multitude of larger-than-life characters. Who can forget the lumbering behemoth known as Andre the Giant?If you want a reminder, you need only look at his spiritual successor, Big Show. Then there are guys like Hulk Hogan and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who conquered the squared circle and transcended the sports entertainment industry to pursue their Hollywood dreams.But what about the wrestlers who already had full-time jobs? They stepped between the ropes in hopes of superstardom.My question is, would they have been better off not quitting their day jobs? Take a look at a ...
John Morrison: Stupid Babyface
On August - 13 - 2010
"Now listen, this ain't no make believeCome on, open your eyes and see..."Open your eyes and see the truth, John Morrison- that although you are an exceptional wrestler, your career is in desperate need of attention. Remember the height from which you have fallen, Morrison. To put it quite bluntly, JoMo has lost his mojo.To paraphrase Y2J, John Morrison now wastes his time pandering to those gelatinous tapeworms known as the WWE Universe. Although his in-ring skills continue to impress, his mic skills leave much to be desired. He still possesses style, but he lacks substance.I have some ideas on ...