Author Archive
WWE’s Irish Klutz: 5 Fun Ideas for Humiliating Sheamus
On March - 1 - 2011
Between 2009 and 2010, Sheamus, a Celtic heavyweight with hair the colour of flames and skin the colour of—er—milky bars, took the wrestling world by storm. He claimed the WWE championship twice, he won the King of the Ring tournament and most extraordinarily of all, he beat John Cena without cheating. This wasn't just a push; this was a veritable shove. Since then, however, his career has been affected by a curious tristesse (which is to say that he's flopped like a ...
WWE Tag Team Championship: Ever More (Oxy)Moronic
On November - 20 - 2010
Speaking as a bit of an outsider I'm not sure why people get so narked with the wrestling in PG-era WWE. Sure, it's nowhere near as extreme as the old days but within the more comfortable confines of family entertainment Daniel Bryan, John Morrison, CM Punk and others are as talented in the ring as any guys I've seen.A bigger loss of recent times has been creative storytelling. Increasingly, heels and babyfaces tend to be just "bad" and "good": thus, a rash of one-dimensional villains—Del Rio, say, or the Miz—and the charms of Cena or Mysterio. Randy Orton and, perhaps, ...
Michael Cole on The Miz, Daniel Bryan and Darth Vader
On November - 9 - 2010
SATIRE— So, I get that Michael Cole's shtick is to applaud the most obnoxious aspects of the show: The Miz, Del Rio, Vicky Guerrero and, perhaps strangest of all, Stand Up for WWE. I don't understand the motive behind Cole's heel-licking, though. Does he thrive on taking heat? Is there a bet with Jerry Lawler? Is he just attracted to The Miz' forehead? We caught up with Mr. Cole for an email interview (or, at least, you can't prove we didn't...). Ben: Michael Cole, you're clearly an, er—fan of The Miz, so what about ...
A John Cena Heel Turn and a Graveyard of Shattered Dreams
On November - 1 - 2010
Hey, you. Yeah, you. You with the ECW shirt and a stone cold can of beer.
You’re bored with PG era wrestling, aren’t you? Yeah, that shirt is from the ECW spinoff—hardcore Heyman fans have given up, died or worse, gotten married—and the drink tastes a little gingery, but you’re not demanding barbed wire and 40-foot skydives. You just want a bit of attitude.
And you want John Cena to turn heel, don’t you? You want him to stroll out and moon the crowd with, "You Can’t See Me" scrawled across his ass. You’d like to see ...